Do you feel stuck in the same self-sabotaging cycle over and over again? Do you still repeat the same bad habit even though you know it’s not good for you? Do you keep making the same decisions even though you know you want a different lifestyle? And no matter how much you want to get out, you still feel stuck. Why do we do this? Consciously even? We keep repeating these habits because we are benefitting from them in some way. Forget about something outside of yourself keeping you stuck, how are you keeping yourself stuck and contributing to the life that you don’t want?
Do you finally want to break your bad habits and move forward into a life that feels good, where you take care of yourself, and where you decide to do what’s best for you not what’s easy? Whatever this life looks like for you, this life that you want, what are the habits that are holding you back from this life that you maybe can’t seem to quit no matter how hard you try? Well, I’m gonna tell you how to break them and stick to it, so that you can become the person you envision who has the life that you want without any overwhelm.
STEP 1: IDENTIFY HOW YOUR SELF-SABOTAGING
What habits are holding you back from your highest self, the version of you that you want to be who has all that you desire? While having compassion for yourself, what patterns and cycles are you stuck in that are not serving you? While understanding that you are doing your best and you probably adopted this habit to survive, reflect on all of the choices you make that you don’t want to but for some reason continue to make. What is holding you back from the version of yourself that has it all? What habits would they not do that you do now?
Write down a list of every habit that you make that you want to stop doing. For example, my list is that I watch too much TV, I don’t have a morning or nighttime routine, I don’t go move my body enough, I procrastinate and resist everything, I am not as present as I want to be, I keep myself in my comfort zone to the point of extreme boredom, and I spend too much of my time and energy on everything other than the things I actually want to do. And that’s okay. I have improved my life so much in so many other ways. I am doing amazing. I have quit many other habits and I recognize that.
STEP 2: IDENTIFY HOW THESE HABITS ACTUALLY BENEFIT YOU
I asked you to name what choices you don’t want to make but for some reason continue to. Maybe you have tried to break these habits but you keep falling back into them. That’s okay. This is very normal. The reason why is because you are benefitting from them and maybe don’t even realize it. This is the key to breaking it. Every habit has a reason. They benefit you in some way. Maybe it makes you feel safe, calms you down, and makes you feel how you want to feel. There’s a reason you adopted it in the first place.
So, I want you to look at the list that you just made and one by one, give me your reasons why you continue to stay in this cycle even though another part of you doesn’t want to. What do you get from this habit? How does this choice that you continue to make benefit you? For me, I watch TV and social media to clear my mind. Does it actually do that? No, but I realized that’s why I have the impulse to reach for it. Your habits usually have more than one benefit and I want you to write every single thing that you want to receive from that habit down. This will be your second list.
STEP 3: RELEASE AND REPLACE THE HABIT
Now that we know what we want from these habits, we are going to find better ways to give it to ourselves. For example, my bad habit is to reach for tiktok when I want to rest and clear my mind when tiktok only makes it worse. Now that I am aware of what I want, which is to have a clear mind because I am an overthinker, I am going to replace that habit with meditation. I am going to implement meditation into my day and when I have that same impulse I’m not going to reach for tiktok, but instead give myself mental rest.
For your third list, I want you to come up with new habits and ways to give yourself everything you want from your second list. This way, you will be fulfilling all of your needs consciously and it will actually work instead of reaching for these bad habits that usually only make it worse. You can have multiple options. For example, when I recognize that I need mental rest, I can meditate, journal dump, tap into my senses, draw, or paint. Create a list of new habits that work for you.
STEP 4: MAKE A PLAN AND MAKE IT HAPPEN
Then, I want you to find a way to actually do these habits. Recently, I have been creating menus for myself and they work so well. Instead of creating a strict morning and night time routine, I have created morning and night routine menus. I write down every habit or ritual I want to do in my routines and then I can pick a couple and that’s my routine. This allows me to actually have a routine that fluctuates with my energy and what I feel like doing. I have also created other menus and you can too. I have a self-care menu and a fun menu as well. And I will probably be adding more.
If you find it hard to stick to a routine, struggle with overwhelm paralysis, and procrastinating, this could very well work for you. I invite you to try it out. Create your own menus, on your phone or write them down and hang them on your wall, and if not, just find your own way to implement these needs into your everyday life. Just be aware of what you actually want when you have the impulse to go back to these old habits and make a new choice. That’s the only way forward, with new and conscious choices. Focus on taking one step at a time. I know you can do it.
I hope you found this blog helpful and maybe had one or two light bulb moments. When you feel stuck, it’s easy to get into a victim mindset and feel like it’s something outside of you that’s keeping you in place. We’ve all been through this multiple times, you are not alone, but nobody is actually holding you down in place. It’s you, it’s your mind, and your choices. You might feel resistance to admitting this at first, but it can actually feel empowering and if you don’t beat yourself up, it can help you change it.
The first step is always awareness and that can be hard, but as long as you wrap yourself in love, try your best to be understanding and compassionate, and just take one step at a time from where you are, you will be more than good. Make a different choice today. Make a choice to align yourself with who you want to be and where you want to be even if it’s only for one step, one habit, or one minute.
If you like this blog, you might also like…
Are You Struggling to Prioritize Your Own Well-being & Feel Overwhelmed at Where to Start? Adopt these 9 Simple Habits
Start Your Day Grateful to Be Alive: Create a Morning Ritual that’s Authentic, Enjoyable & Flexible
Break Free from Stagnation: A Guide to Reclaiming Control of Your Life and Following What Feels Good
Pinterest Boards (of mine) to Help You Out!
Journal Prompts
https://www.pinterest.com/bloominginthewild/journal-prompts/
Moving Forward
https://www.pinterest.com/bloominginthewild/becoming-that-bitch/
Taking Your First Steps Toward Your Best Self
https://www.pinterest.com/bloominginthewild/taking-ur-first-steps-towards-ur-best-self/
Good Reminders
https://www.pinterest.com/bloominginthewild/good-reminders/
Creating Your Dream Life
https://www.pinterest.com/bloominginthewild/create-ur-dream-life/
Becoming That Bitch
https://www.pinterest.com/bloominginthewild/moving-forward/
On A Bad Day
