Break Free from Stagnation: A Guide to Reclaiming Control of Your Life and Following What Feels Good

Feeling stuck in a rut is something everyone goes through and the best thing you can do for yourself is to stop beating yourself up and resisting it. Getting unstuck can feel impossible especially the deeper you are in the rut. Breaking out of this stagnation will be a process, but it doesn’t have to be so difficult. The main things you should remember are to get out of your head, into your body, and stop resisting it and the only way to break it is through action. Here is what has helped me get out of a period of stagnation and find what feels good again.

MY GETTING UNSTUCK ROUTINE:

1. Realize You’re Not Actually Stuck
   • You can never actually be stuck because nothing in your reality is forcing you to stay still.
   • You might feel as though you are stuck and think you are stuck, but you never actually are.
   • It is only your mind that is making you feel stuck and causing you to believe it.
2. Release Resistance and Find the Wisdom
   • Just like our emotions, the feeling itself wouldn’t be as bad if we didn’t have a negative reaction to them.
   • Identify how you feel about being stuck, which could be anger, annoyance, resistance, or stress, and then allow yourself to just sit in the stuck energy, release all resistance, and sink into your body.
   • Now, I want you to find the wisdom in this time. There is probably a reason you feel stuck, and this is the time to reflect on the root and discover what you can learn from it. Then, use the wisdom to move forward in a different way that works better for you.
3. Release Stagnant Energy from Your Body
   • To release stagnant energy, shake, dance, and wiggle that stagnant energy out of your body. Just release control and make the weird movements your body needs to release this energy.
   • Set the intention to release all of this energy as you dance.
   • Doing this daily or when needed is very helpful to just feel a bit lighter and get the energy moving in your body.
4. Break the Stagnation with Action
   • A lot of the time, we find ourselves stuck in a rut because we stick to what’s familiar and comfortable and approach life in a way that no longer works for us. We are always growing and evolving and need to approach life with an open and curious mind, not just stay fixed on a certain way of life because that is what we are used to and get stuck in a loop.
   • Break the stagnancy by taking a step toward anything. Identify any goal and what the steps look like to get there, then take a step.
   • Do something out of your routine, go somewhere you have never been, or do one thing that you have been putting off forever. Just do new things and focus on the you that you are now.

MINDSET SHIFTS:

1. If You Can’t Change Something, Change Your Perspective
   • Sometimes we are too close to something that all we need is to just take a step back to get a different view.
   • Sometimes the only thing that is actually hurting us is our perspective and that is something we can change. We can choose to see the good in something and choose to look at something differently at any second.
   • This quote reminds us of what we are actually in control of, ourselves. Allowing yourself to shift your focus to what you can change instead of wasting your energy on trying to control what’s outside of yourself.
2. Discipline Is Remembering What You Want the Most, Not Just What You Want Right Now
   • Discipline can be hard because as humans all we want is to feel good. When we view a task as something that would not make us feel good, why would we want to do it? We just want instant gratification and we let that win a lot of time over the discipline we are trying to follow through with.
   • A common tendency for procrastinators is we look at the task in front of us and we imagine what it would be and feel like to do it, often exaggerating how long and hard it would be. What if we imagine that same task as something easy and something that feels good? Wouldn’t you be more willing to do it?
   • Sometimes you just have to stop your mind right then and there, and say 1,2,3 go or 1,2,3 fuck it, and just do it.
3. The Only Constant Thing In Life Is Change
   • Nothing lasts forever, so learn to ride the wave and embrace change or you will not have a good time basically resisting life.
   • Once you learn to embrace the duality of life, the ups and downs, and just find your flow, it becomes a million times easier.
   • This goes hand in hand with mastering detachment, which is just focusing on what you can control, and releasing attachment to people, outcomes, and the idea of anything.
4. Stop Focusing on Your Mind and Actions But on Your Feelings
   • Feeling good is all we want to experience. When we are stuck, we don’t feel good, we feel well stuck, resistant, angry, shame, stressed, etc. Just for a minute stop prioritizing listening to your mind and getting mad at yourself that you’re not taking action, and just prioritize what you are feeling.
   • You want to lean into anything you’re feeling and just focus on the sensations that are happening in your body.
   • I want you to do something that feels right and feels good. Just find what feels good and follow it.

DO MORE OF:

1. Just Be
   • Allow yourself to be exactly where you are now and just be.
   • You don’t need to be a future version of yourself, you don’t need to change anything or get better at anything.
   • You are only a tiny human on this planet who can do whatever you want, feel that freedom, and feel the present.
2. Get Out Of Your Head
   • Your mind is the only thing that’s creating resistance, so when your meditating that’s when you have no resistance.
   • Meditate more, and do things that get you in that same state like painting or being in nature.
   • Focus more on feeling and being in your body and presence over being in your head.
3. Speak Your Actions
   • This is my favorite tip to fix your problem with not following through with what you say. This is a simple tool that helps you work with your subconscious mind.
   • All I want you to do is say out loud everything that you are about to do. It’s as simple as: I’m going to pick up my phone and then pick up your phone.
   • This signals to your brain that you follow through with what you say. That’s it.
4. Cleansing Rituals
   • Do some cleansing and releasing rituals to release all negative energy and stagnant energy from your body.
   • So to cleanse, take a cleansing shower (take a shower and set the intention that the water clears away all your stagnancy and visualize it), and get out in nature.
   • For releasing, eft tap, journal dump, and shake and dance off all your stagnant energy.

LISTS TO FIND WHAT FEELS GOOD:

1. What Do You Want To Feel
   • There is a feeling under everything you want. So, think about what you want to feel instead of the physical thing because that’s what you actually desire. For example, if you want money, maybe you want to feel free or secure.
   • Write down every main feeling you want to experience. Then, I want you to list all the things you could do to make you feel that way, then do them.
   • Stop projecting what you want to feel onto objects. Stop relying on external things to feel good. You don’t have to cut yourself off from what you want to feel when you always have access to every emotion.
2. Find What Feels Good
   • Reflect on all the activities that make you feel good, recharged, joyful, relaxed, aligned, etc. For me, this is baking, painting, taking a bath, doing yoga, meditating, going on a walk, being in nature, journaling, and more.
   • This will be a list of all of the things you know are good for you and make you feel good that you put off a lot.
   • So, make this list, and try to do at least one every day.
3. Find Motivation Again
   • What lights you up, excites you, and inspires you? What could you talk about for hours? What activities are you doing where time just seems to fly by? What makes you feel alive?
   • When we are in a period of stagnation, we are not living a life that fulfills us or excites us. We are living a life that we have outgrown. We go through the same motions every day and lose all motivation.
   • So, create a list of things that light you up, things to look forward to, new things to try, and just start by taking action on things you actually want to do.
4. Feel in Control of Your Life
   • When we are stuck in a rut, it’s our mind that becomes in charge, and our mind that tricks us into thinking that we are not in control of our life and our actions.
   • Regaining the feeling of being in control of our life after being in a state of stagnation is so empowering. I want you to feel the power of being in control of your life again.
   • List everything that you have control over, your actions, what you think, what you say, when you do something, how you feel, your room, your job, etc. Remember that you are in control of your life and you need to take accountability again for the actions you do or don’t do.

Getting out of a period of stagnation can feel impossible. You have lost all motivation and spark for life while your mind controls your life. Getting unstuck will be a process and requires you to stop reacting to being stuck in a rut. Stop beating yourself up, stop resisting where you are, stop trying to skip to the end, and stop overthinking everything. That is only the first step, but a huge one. I believe that getting out of stagnation is all about focusing on feeling and aligning your life to where you are in your life, right now. You will not be stuck in a rut forever. This is only a small period of your life. Just take it one step at a time. You’ve got this.

Ted Talks to Inspire You to Get Out of a Period of Stagnation:

1. The Magic of Not Giving a Fuck (12:37)
   • For all of my people-pleasers out there, I love this one! Learn how to say No in a kind way and declutter your life of things you don’t give a fuck about.
   • This video is such an easy watch. It’s attention-grabbing, simple, short and sweet, and so helpful.
   • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwRzjFQa_Og
2. Choices That Can Change Your Life? (25:55)
   • It’s about the power of the little choices you make every day. We are born knowing the power of our choices which is why people are terrified to make a choice. But, choose a life of integrity. This consists of making choices that align with what you believe. What will you decide to pass on? Suffering or wisdom? Again, it is your choice.
   • This video takes a couple of minutes to get into but it’s wisdom is priceless. It’s a slower watch but a must-watch.
   • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KysuBl2m_w

Check Out My Other Blogs:

1. To Level Up Your Life
   • Do you want to stop waiting around for love? Do you feel like a piece of you is missing that you are trying to fill with other people and other external things? Do you just want to feel whole and independent? Do you want the life of your dreams but are overwhelmed by thinking about how to get there?
   • Take Control of Your Life: Stop Waiting Around for Love and Put Yourself First – bloominginthewild.com/stop-waiting-for-love-and-put-yourself-first/
2. Feel Better About Yourself
   • Do you want to get ahead and learn all of the mindset shifts that I have learned over 3 years? All the mindsets that make your life significantly better and make you feel better about yourself and your life? It’s only 10 tips that guide you on your healing journey.
   • https://bloominginthewild.com/10-tips-to-guide-you-on-your-healing-journey/