Feel Better About Yourself & Life: 10 Tips to Guide You on Your Healing Journey

I compiled 10 tips, mindset shifts, and lessons, I would have wanted to know that have truly changed my life. As I wrote this, I thought of all the things I have learned over the past couple of years on my healing journey that have made me significantly feel better. I included mindsets that make the low moments easier to move through and the high moments even more gratifying. I wanted to bring together all of the actually useful wisdom I use every day that makes my life consist of more ease, less suffering, more gratitude, less feeling like a victim, more freedom, less being hard on myself, and more presence all in one place.

1. RESISTANCE:
   • Resist nothing. Resistance is all in your head and only causes suffering. Meditation allows you to release all resistance. Acceptance is the opposite of resistance. So, accept where you are in life while taking steps to where you want to be.
   • Stop putting your happiness off onto a future moment because your life will just be you chasing a future moment and being unhappy until you decide to break that habit. No job, relationship, money, success, or moment will actually make you happy like you think it will. You will only move on to the next thing and want more and more.
   • Happiness doesn’t come from an external thing, it’s a feeling from within that you can allow yourself to feel right now. The key is to never look outside of ourselves for anything. In what ways do you have this habit? How can you start looking within instead?
2. POSITIVE MINDSET:
   • Changing the lens of how you see your life allows you to feel good much more often. Isn’t that what everyone wants? To feel good? It’s not about changing your life to be happier, it’s about changing your mindset. That is why your life transforms completely when you adopt a positive mindset.
   • You will never be happy with a negative mindset because that will be all you are focusing on, causing you to always feel bad. There will always be duality in this life, so you can choose only to see the bad or you can focus on the good. Both of these are choices. What we focus on expands, so with that in mind, which would you like to choose?
   • The way to start training your mind from a negative to a positive mindset is to practice gratitude every day, play the positive what-if game, and say affirmations you actually mean (even if you don’t at first). Doing it half-ass does nothing, try to actually mean it and say it with emotion even if it feels weird at first.
3. EMBRACE DUALITY:
   • Embracing the duality of life is the best thing you can do for yourself. If you look back on your life so far, there were good times and bad times. It is not something you can escape, but you can make it significantly easier for yourself. You probably made it a lot harder than it had to be by attaching to stories that only hurt you or by resisting or trying to escape the moment. Reflect on what habits you have in hard times and what part you play in your own suffering.
   • The way I like to think about it is that your only job in the good times is to be present, feel gratitude, romanticize your life, have fun, let your inner child feel free, etc., and in the harder times, your only job is to really sit in the moment and in your feelings, allow yourself to feel, and instead of asking why is this happening to me? ask yourself what is this teaching me?
   • And my favorite tip of all that brings immediate ease to hard moments that can feel really hard is to reach for love. We think we are cut off from love when we are upset which can cause intense pain and make love feel so far away, but allowing yourself to feel love in those moments makes them a million times more bearable. Wrapping everything in love is something I now live by and now hope you do too.
4. DETACHMENT:
   • Attachment only causes suffering. Uncertainty is just a part of life, and change is the only constant thing we have. Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever, and that’s okay. So don’t force situations and try to control everything because that is exhausting and not possible. Things just don’t happen how you expect them to, but remember everything is working in your favor.
   • Remember that you are your own person, a separate entity from anyone or anything. Allow others to be themselves and allow you to be your authentic self. Don’t resist anything, force nothing, allow all to be how it is, and embrace all of life.
   • You create your reality, so feel the power you do have and start making moves. Nobody is coming to save you and you don’t need anyone to. Everyone is just an addition to your life. And by mastering the art of detachment, you will finally find inner peace, know yourself deeper, and be able to rely on yourself and your inner power.
5. FEELINGS:
   • As humans, all we actually want is to feel something. We place the feelings we want onto external things, we want to only feel good, so we push down all “negative” emotions, we numb our feelings, chase feelings, and overcomplicate everything.
   • Our feelings are pretty simple, they just want to be felt. All you need to do is observe, guide, and feel your feelings when they come up, and not restrict yourself from feeling what you want.
   • When you want to feel free, feel free or do something that makes you feel free. We are never cut off from feeling anything at any moment. We are capable of feeling every single emotion whenever we want. So, stop looking outside of yourself, identify the feeling you want, and feel it now.
6. MIRRORING AND PROJECTING:
   • Everything is a mirror and everything is a projection. Realizing this will help you not take everything personally and feel like a victim of life. So, from now on, I want you to become conscious of every time you judge someone and reflect upon what that says about you.
   • This can be a hard lesson to learn that everything you see, say, think, everything is just a projection of your insecurities and life experiences. But, noticing this really allows you to see right through everyone because people are basically just telling on themselves all the time, and is just a great tool to heal. Especially in relationships, they just really bring out all of your triggers, trauma, and insecurities, and instead of blaming the other person, you want to look within and heal this part of yourself.
   • This is a way to work with your subconscious mind. So, use every time you’re triggered or judging others, use every time you have a fight with your loved ones, and every block and obstacle you face as a chance to heal, learn more about yourself, and look within so that you can move forward.
7. FORGETTING THE “RULE BOOK”:
   • Growing up, we are told and shown that there is only one way to live and that there are so many rules we must obey without question. You must fit yourself into the boxes of society and always do what others expect of you.
   • So, many people end up not feeling safe to be their authentic selves and feel shame around any unique part of them. They end up in a life they hate because they are living for everyone else. They put everyone else before themselves, and are constantly worried about what others think of them, always seeking approval.
   • In reality, our life is a blank slate. So, just for a second, I want you to throw away the “rule book” you have in your mind and feel the freedom and power you have over the future. Imagine what you want your life to look like if you actually followed your desires instead of living the life you think you should have. You can start over any day and wipe the slate clean. This is so freeing because we can really feel held back by our past and continue to do things a certain way because that is how it’s always been done. But, I want you to take steps toward that dream life of yours because everyone is so different and deserves to live a life that makes them feel fulfilled and excited to wake up to every day.
8. ABUNDANCE MINDSET:
   • Adopting an abundance mindset is not just about money. It influences your relationships, how much money you attract, your career, your healing journey, how you see opportunities and growth, and so much more. An abundance mindset is basically the idea that there are more than enough resources for everyone as opposed to the scarcity mindset which is the idea that there aren’t enough resources and we all have to fight for them.
   • I personally don’t really like the term oversaturated because it implies that there is not enough space for all of us to succeed when I believe that everyone has something to add to this world, everyone is unique for a reason, and being your authentic self is actually beneficial to the world. I know it’s hard, especially with social media, but just stop comparing yourself to anyone. Someone else’s beauty does not take away from yours. All of our journeys are so personal to us that there is no need for comparing. The only person you should be comparing yourself to is your past selves.
   • Having a scarcity mindset just causes you to be jealous, which is not great for your relationships or you when jealousy can just be seen as the universe or your subconscious showing you what you want through another person. Awareness of when your scarcity mindset pops up and then rewiring your brain is the key. So, when you’re jealous just take note of it, what you really desire can sometimes surprise you.
9. THINKING YOU NEED FIXING:
   • If you’re on your healing journey and you have the mindset that there is a destination. If you feel you need to “fix” yourself, nothing you do is ever enough, and you expect yourself to be perfect, then this one is for you. You need to reevaluate your mindset and actions on this journey. The way you go about this should be balanced.
   • You should be allowing yourself to make mistakes, to just be a human, and have fun. You should be looking back and appreciating how far you have come while honoring where you are now without constantly needing to be better and chasing another goal. You should try your best to be present as much as you can. The way you go about this journey should be sustainable for a long time, and you should be doing things out of a place of love not force or fixing. You are exactly where you are meant to be.
   • What I want you to do is reflect on your mindset and reflect on where you are maybe restricting yourself, and reevaluate how you want to move forward. Just allow yourself to be an imperfect human, and allow yourself to move forward and achieve your dreams even though you still have wounds and insecurities, that’s okay and normal. You are good enough and are doing enough. It’s okay to give yourself a break and listen to your body.
10. YOUR BEST IS ENOUGH:
    • Doing your best is enough. Waking up and reflecting on what your best looks like for how you’re feeling that day is enough. You won’t always be at 100% percent, and listening to your body rather than pushing yourself is actually the more productive answer. Consistency is not doing the same amount of work every day. It is showing up every day and taking the steps that you can that day. This mindset actually helps you avoid burnout and heal perfectionism.
    • A lot of us have an all-or-nothing mentality or we’re taught to push ourselves past our breaking point, which both make it nearly impossible to be consistent and actually achieve our goals. Someone who has an all-or-nothing mindset will just be stuck in the cycle of relying solely on motivation. They get a bunch of stuff done one day, then end up being exhausted the next day, so they get nothing done because they don’t feel like it. They spend the whole day thinking about all they have to do, so it feels like they’re basically doing the work, but they beat themselves up because they’re not actually getting anything done.
    • Taking 1 step each day is better than nothing and takes off all the pressure you put on yourself from having this mindset. Just do your best for how you feel that day and then be proud of yourself that you showed up and did your best. This is the key to achieving long-term success. You deserve it. <3

I hope you enjoyed reading this blog, and found it useful, inspiring, thought-provoking, validating, and helped you to feel less overwhelmed about beginning or moving forward on your personal journey. I hope it made you feel better about yourself and where you are in life. I want to remind you that everyone’s healing journey looks different, you shouldn’t force something that doesn’t feel right, or compare your journey to anyone else. You should do what’s right for you, follow what interests you or is calling your name, and always remember that you are an imperfect human that makes mistakes just like everyone else. And your best is always enough. <3

If you liked what I had to say and are interested in stepping into your bad bitch energy. If you struggle with feeling whole and independent, are waiting for love to come and save you, struggle with putting yourself first and taking charge of your life, want to heal your masculine and feminine energy, and embrace your dark feminine energy and magnetism, all while taking steps toward your dream life, then my blog is the perfect step-by-step guide for you. All you have to do is click this link and start reading: https://bloominginthewild.com/stop-waiting-for-love-and-put-yourself-first/.